








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 103 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 106 matches | ||
| Faceit | 20 matches | ||
| Wingman | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 2 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




2 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1847 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 6,127 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2132 | 35% |
| Smokes | 1663 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 1405 | 23% |
| Molotovs | 927 | 15% |
Our logs show you have wasted $481,511 of utility $139 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 36 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Keksimage | 90% | 10 |
| #2 | Zuba♛ | 76% | 17 |
| #3 | gYgloff | 75% | 24 |
| #4 | bear | 70% | 10 |
| #5 | Mebisa | 62% | 13 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Jesa | 3 | 0.0015 |
| #2 | Suokiksi | 3 | 0.0019 |
| #3 | gYgloff | 2 | 0.0040 |
| #4 | Silli | 1 | 0.0010 |
| #5 | Keksimage | 1 | 0.0048 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Suokiksi | 251 | 0.16 | 5 min |
| #2 | Jesa | 155 | 0.08 | 3 min |
| #3 | Silli | 148 | 0.14 | 3 min |
| #4 | Zuba♛ | 61 | 0.17 | 2 min |
| #5 | Keksimage | 46 | 0.22 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Keksimage | +7.10 | 91 | 78 |
| #2 | Zuba♛ | +3.60 | 85 | 70 |
| #3 | DeMaisteriX | +2.90 | 69 | 72 |
| #4 | gYgloff | +0.78 | 89 | 59 |
| #5 | Silli | +0.28 | 69 | 54 |





