










System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 0 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.

| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 72 matches | ||
| Premier | 35 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 5 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




12 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1441 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 4,538 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1310 | 29% |
| Smokes | 1285 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 924 | 20% |
| Molotovs | 1019 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $445,735 of utility $144 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 50 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | NippleLicknNick | 50% | 64 |
| #3 | CumDon | 48% | 54 |
| #4 | Salami Mami | 45% | 53 |
| #5 | ✪Water | 43% | 49 |
| #6 | MacDaddy | 25% | 12 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | NippleLicknNick | 4 | 0.0030 |
| #2 | Salami Mami | 2 | 0.0018 |
| #3 | ✪Water | 2 | 0.0020 |
| #4 | MacDaddy | 2 | 0.0108 |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | NippleLicknNick | +4.16 | 77 | 66 |
| #2 | MacDaddy | +0.61 | 50 | 63 |
| #3 | CumDon | +0.40 | 70 | 69 |
| #4 | ❄ Rip ❄ | -0.50 | 76 | 53 |
| #5 | ✪Water | -0.72 | 65 | 57 |





