








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 21 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Dust2 | 23 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 4 different maps




Our logs show 2 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




2 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
194 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 715 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 211 | 30% |
| Smokes | 117 | 16% |
| HE Grenades | 228 | 32% |
| Molotovs | 159 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $104,000 of utility $151 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 4 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Patrick | 50% | 2 |
| #2 | Capitol Raid | 47% | 15 |
| #3 | Private Ryan | 40% | 25 |
| #4 | Parth | 38% | 8 |
| #5 | japppy21 | 33% | 3 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Capitol Raid | 3 | 0.0099 |
| #2 | Private Ryan | 2 | 0.0039 |
| #3 | fillup00 | 1 | 0.0035 |
| #4 | Flats | 1 | 0.0086 |
| #5 | japppy21 | 1 | 0.0154 |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Private Ryan | +6.00 | 61 | 63 |
| #2 | Capitol Raid | +1.25 | 52 | 66 |
| #3 | Parth | +0.62 | 42 | 62 |
| #4 | fillup00 | -0.22 | 51 | 60 |
| #5 | xinvadersx | -1.15 | 63 | 60 |





