








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 195 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 139 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 91 matches | ||
| Faceit | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 2 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




30 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2515 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 6,730 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2039 | 30% |
| Smokes | 2425 | 36% |
| HE Grenades | 1328 | 20% |
| Molotovs | 938 | 14% |
Our logs show you have wasted $992,532 of utility $157 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 309 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Private Ryan | 56% | 170 |
| #2 | Doodle Bob | 54% | 39 |
| #3 | Bailey | 53% | 15 |
| #4 | Fred the Fish | 52% | 48 |
| #5 | fillup00 | 50% | 237 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #7 | I-Zheet M'Drurz | 48% | 23 |
| #8 | Gary | 47% | 15 |
| #9 | Parth | 47% | 15 |
| #10 | Phil Swift | 42% | 19 |
| #11 | Patrick | 40% | 15 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | fillup00 | 15 | 0.0030 |
| #2 | Private Ryan | 13 | 0.0037 |
| #3 | Patrick | 5 | 0.0164 |
| #4 | Fred the Fish | 3 | 0.0031 |
| #5 | Doodle Bob | 3 | 0.0036 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | fillup00 | 301 | 0.06 | 8 min |
| #2 | Private Ryan | 281 | 0.08 | 9 min |
| #3 | Doodle Bob | 70 | 0.08 | 2 min |
| #4 | Gary | 49 | 0.16 | 1 min |
| #5 | I-Zheet M'Drurz | 36 | 0.07 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Private Ryan | +4.70 | 62 | 62 |
| #2 | Doodle Bob | +4.41 | 62 | 55 |
| #3 | Bailey | +4.35 | 58 | 69 |
| #4 | Phil Swift | +0.74 | 61 | 41 |
| #5 | Parth | +0.53 | 58 | 58 |





