








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 662 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 118 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 5 matches | ||
| Wingman | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 13 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




7 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2411 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 4,374 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 626 | 14% |
| Smokes | 1021 | 23% |
| HE Grenades | 1591 | 36% |
| Molotovs | 1136 | 26% |
Our logs show you have wasted $519,770 of utility $138 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 122 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 0n1kE | 73% | 11 |
| #2 | Wondy | 60% | 20 |
| #3 | jorrO | 60% | 62 |
| #4 | Steph Karrigan | 57% | 65 |
| #5 | 20 km/h Mazda Peek | 52% | 29 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #6 | Inferno King Von | 50% | 14 |
| #7 | Ma7ricata | 44% | 18 |
| #8 | 5 LIONS MEGAWAYS | 44% | 32 |
| #9 | ARI ARAM WE | 24% | 17 |
| #10 | Papi | 20% | 10 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | jorrO | 11 | 0.0085 |
| #2 | 5 LIONS MEGAWAYS | 5 | 0.0075 |
| #3 | 20 km/h Mazda Peek | 3 | 0.0049 |
| #4 | ARI ARAM WE | 2 | 0.0054 |
| #5 | Inferno King Von | 2 | 0.0068 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Steph Karrigan | 177 | 0.13 | 4 min |
| #2 | 20 km/h Mazda Peek | 85 | 0.14 | 2 min |
| #3 | jorrO | 78 | 0.06 | 1 min |
| #4 | 5 LIONS MEGAWAYS | 59 | 0.09 | 1 min |
| #5 | Inferno King Von | 54 | 0.18 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Crusien | +4.07 | 89 | 56 |
| #2 | 0n1kE | +3.24 | 47 | 56 |
| #3 | Wondy | -0.03 | 28 | 58 |
| #4 | Steph Karrigan | -0.23 | 41 | 66 |
| #5 | Ma7ricata | -0.89 | 53 | 56 |





