








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 16 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 65 matches | ||
| Premier | 42 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 7 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




3 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1580 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 5,175 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1721 | 33% |
| Smokes | 1470 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 862 | 17% |
| Molotovs | 1122 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $136,774 of utility $49 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 0 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Jonas | 91% | 11 |
| #2 | 𝙉kM⚡ | 81% | 16 |
| #3 | 𝐙𝐞𝐧𝐧𝐲𝐱 | 75% | 12 |
| #4 | | Shadowjr9 | | 69% | 59 |
| #5 | 𝐅𝐨𝐱𝐢𝐞 | 67% | 18 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | | Shadowjr9 | | 69% | 59 |
| #5 | 𝐅𝐨𝐱𝐢𝐞 | 67% | 18 |
| #6 | 4NUBIS | 67% | 24 |
| #7 | o renegado | 65% | 31 |
| #8 | COCK | 61% | 28 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | | Shadowjr9 | | 2 | 0.0016 |
| #2 | o renegado | 1 | 0.0015 |
| #3 | COCK | 1 | 0.0018 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | | Shadowjr9 | | 184 | 0.15 | 3 min |
| #2 | o renegado | 167 | 0.26 | 5 min |
| #3 | COCK | 143 | 0.25 | 4 min |
| #4 | 4NUBIS | 69 | 0.14 | 2 min |
| #5 | 𝙉kM⚡ | 41 | 0.12 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 『 』 | +3.51 | 81 | 62 |
| #2 | 𝙉kM⚡ | +1.35 | 59 | 61 |
| #3 | 𝐅𝐨𝐱𝐢𝐞 | +0.88 | 66 | 63 |
| #4 | COCK | +0.12 | 39 | 60 |
| #5 | 𝐙𝐞𝐧𝐧𝐲𝐱 | +0.03 | 75 | 51 |





