








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 10 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 30 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 3 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




7 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
387 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 1,824 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 379 | 21% |
| Smokes | 439 | 24% |
| HE Grenades | 508 | 28% |
| Molotovs | 498 | 27% |
Our logs show you have wasted $150,850 of utility $145 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 27 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | dali | 68% | 25 |
| #2 | DeziWTF | 67% | 3 |
| #3 | Spectacular Spider-man | 50% | 6 |
| #4 | big purr | 43% | 7 |
| #5 | af4d | 33% | 3 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | DeziWTF | 67% | 3 |
| #3 | Spectacular Spider-man | 50% | 6 |
| #4 | big purr | 43% | 7 |
| #5 | af4d | 33% | 3 |
| #6 | yallah | 29% | 7 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | yallah | 6 | 0.0492 |
| #2 | Spectacular Spider-man | 4 | 0.0357 |
| #3 | dali | 3 | 0.0057 |
| #4 | big purr | 3 | 0.0229 |
| #5 | af4d | 1 | 0.0161 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | dali | 157 | 0.30 | 4 min |
| #2 | big purr | 32 | 0.24 | 1 min |
| #3 | Spectacular Spider-man | 25 | 0.22 | 1 min |
| #4 | yallah | 14 | 0.11 | 0 min |
| #5 | DeziWTF | 9 | 0.15 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Spectacular Spider-man | +7.24 | 72 | 61 |
| #2 | yallah | +2.67 | 89 | 43 |
| #3 | dali | +1.10 | 63 | 71 |
| #4 | ultral0rd | +0.09 | 61 | 60 |
| #5 | DeziWTF | -2.09 | 41 | 69 |





