








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 124 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 67 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 3 matches | ||
| Wingman | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 1 Chicken Has been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




11 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1027 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 2,813 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 764 | 27% |
| Smokes | 825 | 29% |
| HE Grenades | 740 | 26% |
| Molotovs | 484 | 17% |
Our logs show you have wasted $347,137 of utility $128 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 16 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | 1.8T | 53% | 68 |
| #5 | Tyson77 | 50% | 98 |
| #6 | xPraxx | 50% | 103 |
| #7 | Hyraaku | 46% | 35 |
| #8 | Nix | 45% | 38 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | xPraxx | 11 | 0.0050 |
| #2 | Tyson77 | 9 | 0.0043 |
| #3 | 1.8T | 4 | 0.0028 |
| #4 | Hyraaku | 2 | 0.0026 |
| #5 | Zap | 1 | 0.0013 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | xPraxx | 225 | 0.10 | 7 min |
| #2 | Tyson77 | 168 | 0.08 | 4 min |
| #3 | Hyraaku | 114 | 0.15 | 3 min |
| #4 | Nix | 106 | 0.13 | 3 min |
| #5 | 1.8T | 91 | 0.06 | 3 min |





