








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 329 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 207 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 13 matches | ||
| Wingman | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 25 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




13 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2568 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 9,292 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3616 | 39% |
| Smokes | 2350 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 3049 | 33% |
| Molotovs | 277 | 3% |
Our logs show you have wasted $462,118 of utility $76 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 91 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #10 | Tyson77 | 48% | 162 |
| #11 | Kid Gudi | 46% | 35 |
| #12 | 1.8T | 45% | 93 |
| #13 | xPraxx | 44% | 113 |
| #14 | Zap | 42% | 38 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Tyson77 | 15 | 0.0042 |
| #2 | xPraxx | 7 | 0.0028 |
| #3 | 1.8T | 7 | 0.0035 |
| #4 | krsmstr | 4 | 0.0051 |
| #5 | Kid Gudi | 4 | 0.0052 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Tyson77 | 304 | 0.09 | 8 min |
| #2 | xPraxx | 237 | 0.09 | 6 min |
| #3 | Nix | 179 | 0.10 | 5 min |
| #4 | 1.8T | 129 | 0.06 | 3 min |
| #5 | krsmstr | 60 | 0.08 | 2 min |





