








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 416 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 139 matches | ||
| Faceit | 85 matches | ||
| Wingman | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 16 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




3 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3119 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 7,460 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 757 | 10% |
| Smokes | 2296 | 31% |
| HE Grenades | 2121 | 28% |
| Molotovs | 2286 | 31% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,358,511 of utility $212 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 11 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ChrisAren | 81% | 31 |
| #2 | Fogelwasser | 64% | 66 |
| #3 | Alex | 63% | 16 |
| #4 | SnoKarEN | 60% | 129 |
| #5 | Sefato | 59% | 22 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #8 | Mudbill | 51% | 98 |
| #9 | allu🅱 | 50% | 121 |
| #10 | pingo | 49% | 120 |
| #11 | OnioN | 47% | 47 |
| #12 | baguette | 42% | 26 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | allu🅱 | 9 | 0.0037 |
| #2 | SnoKarEN | 6 | 0.0023 |
| #3 | pingo | 4 | 0.0016 |
| #4 | OnioN | 2 | 0.0020 |
| #5 | ChrisAren | 2 | 0.0031 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | SnoKarEN | 559 | 0.21 | 15 min |
| #2 | ÆBLE | 356 | 0.26 | 10 min |
| #3 | allu🅱 | 265 | 0.11 | 7 min |
| #4 | Fogelwasser | 262 | 0.19 | 8 min |
| #5 | Mudbill | 198 | 0.10 | 6 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Sefato | +3.32 | 82 | 68 |
| #2 | Fogelwasser | +2.95 | 66 | 82 |
| #3 | SnoKarEN | +2.05 | 63 | 69 |
| #4 | allu🅱 | +0.77 | 44 | 70 |
| #5 | pingo | +0.65 | 78 | 35 |





