








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 2031 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 224 matches | ||
| Wingman | 173 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 159 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 149 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 125 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 111 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 81 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 74 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 25 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Golden | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 19 different maps





Our logs show 97 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




99 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
11314 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 40,811 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 9199 | 23% |
| Smokes | 11440 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 12086 | 30% |
| Molotovs | 8086 | 20% |
Our logs show you have wasted $4,076,778 of utility $174 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1314 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Phantom | 129 | 0.0087 |
| #2 | timofuay | 27 | 0.0046 |
| #3 | Jonblade117 | 20 | 0.0017 |
| #4 | Hedead | 16 | 0.0044 |
| #5 | Gay Retard | 16 | 0.0136 |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Gay Retard | +4.67 | 56 | 62 |
| #2 | Phantom | +2.63 | 57 | 40 |
| #3 | Hedead | +1.53 | 59 | 58 |
| #4 | dBison ッ | +1.45 | 73 | 74 |
| #5 | timofuay | -1.34 | 42 | 58 |





