








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 204 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September


The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 196 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 87 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 59 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 51 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 9 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 41 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




18 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2984 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 17,151 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2967 | 17% |
| Smokes | 6123 | 36% |
| HE Grenades | 3341 | 19% |
| Molotovs | 4720 | 28% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,867,356 of utility $163 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 82 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #10 | 𝓝𝓸𝓻𝓪𝓰𝓪𝓶𝓲 ⚡ | 41% | 108 |
| #11 | Moo.Deng | 41% | 214 |
| #12 | Esky ☾ | 39% | 224 |
| #13 | Melatonin | 38% | 39 |
| #14 | ฅ^•⩊•^ฅ | 29% | 59 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Esky ☾ | 7 | 0.0015 |
| #2 | Melatonin | 6 | 0.0074 |
| #3 | Moo.Deng | 5 | 0.0011 |
| #4 | PewPewPewAndYouDie | 4 | 0.0012 |
| #5 | (Do not display) | 4 | 0.0025 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Esky ☾ | 1897 | 0.42 | 58 min |
| #2 | Moo.Deng | 541 | 0.12 | 14 min |
| #3 | PewPewPewAndYouDie | 315 | 0.10 | 8 min |
| #4 | ★⭒snackie⭒★ | 201 | 0.16 | 6 min |
| #5 | Blue | 196 | 0.05 | 6 min |





