








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 10 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 220 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




33 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1800 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 7,337 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1766 | 24% |
| Smokes | 2008 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 2052 | 28% |
| Molotovs | 1511 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $247,477 of utility $45 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 2 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Hazza231 | 51% | 140 |
| #2 | KillinPeople | 47% | 193 |
| #3 | Yatesie | 46% | 184 |
| #4 | bricms | 43% | 107 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Hazza231 | 51% | 140 |
| #2 | KillinPeople | 47% | 193 |
| #3 | Yatesie | 46% | 184 |
| #4 | bricms | 43% | 107 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Yatesie | 13 | 0.0033 |
| #2 | KillinPeople | 11 | 0.0027 |
| #3 | Hazza231 | 4 | 0.0014 |
| #4 | bricms | 4 | 0.0018 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Yatesie | 708 | 0.18 | 18 min |
| #2 | KillinPeople | 362 | 0.09 | 9 min |
| #3 | bricms | 325 | 0.14 | 9 min |
| #4 | Hazza231 | 303 | 0.10 | 6 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | KillinPeople | +0.56 | 30 | 68 |
| #2 | bricms | +0.52 | 53 | 61 |
| #3 | Hazza231 | -0.59 | 27 | 60 |
| #4 | Peon | -0.92 | 49 | 46 |
| #5 | Yatesie | -0.93 | 35 | 67 |





