








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 144 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September



The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 423 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 22 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




19 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4042 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 17,326 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3355 | 19% |
| Smokes | 6339 | 37% |
| HE Grenades | 4325 | 25% |
| Molotovs | 3307 | 19% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,526,967 of utility $136 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 320 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Hazza231 | 52% | 196 |
| #2 | Yatesie | 48% | 273 |
| #3 | Peon | 47% | 193 |
| #4 | bricms | 45% | 164 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Hazza231 | 52% | 196 |
| #2 | Yatesie | 48% | 273 |
| #3 | Peon | 47% | 193 |
| #4 | bricms | 45% | 164 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Peon | 27 | 0.0066 |
| #2 | Yatesie | 24 | 0.0041 |
| #3 | Hazza231 | 8 | 0.0019 |
| #4 | bricms | 6 | 0.0017 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Yatesie | 1055 | 0.18 | 25 min |
| #2 | Peon | 559 | 0.14 | 13 min |
| #3 | bricms | 491 | 0.14 | 14 min |
| #4 | Hazza231 | 412 | 0.10 | 8 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | bricms | +0.26 | 54 | 62 |
| #2 | KillinPeople | +0.05 | 31 | 68 |
| #3 | Hazza231 | -0.77 | 30 | 61 |
| #4 | Yatesie | -0.81 | 38 | 66 |
| #5 | Peon | -1.07 | 48 | 48 |





