








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 310 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 387 matches | ||
| Wingman | 7 matches | ||
| Faceit | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 46 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




7 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2520 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 14,809 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3981 | 27% |
| Smokes | 4184 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 2118 | 14% |
| Molotovs | 4526 | 31% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,736,929 of utility $185 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 431 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Tom Bombadil | 62% | 39 |
| #2 | ^^Not even close^^ | 55% | 147 |
| #3 | Sir. Mullich | 53% | 81 |
| #4 | Simply_Stupid | 49% | 73 |
| #5 | Adrianinho | 48% | 79 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #6 | Sir_Torstein | 47% | 38 |
| #7 | emm | 45% | 235 |
| #8 | Lord Pirate | 45% | 241 |
| #9 | uRun. jrStenv1k | 45% | 143 |
| #10 | WhiteEyeBroW | 44% | 218 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | uRun. jrStenv1k | 9 | 0.0029 |
| #2 | Lord Pirate | 6 | 0.0012 |
| #3 | emm | 5 | 0.0010 |
| #4 | WhiteEyeBroW | 5 | 0.0011 |
| #5 | ^^Not even close^^ | 3 | 0.0010 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Lord Pirate | 329 | 0.06 | 8 min |
| #2 | Adrianinho | 256 | 0.16 | 8 min |
| #3 | Simply_Stupid | 239 | 0.15 | 6 min |
| #4 | WhiteEyeBroW | 183 | 0.04 | 4 min |
| #5 | emm | 151 | 0.03 | 4 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Lord Pirate | +1.74 | 37 | 67 |
| #2 | ^^Not even close^^ | +0.63 | 46 | 41 |
| #3 | emm | +0.50 | 32 | 55 |
| #4 | Simply_Stupid | +0.27 | 34 | 60 |
| #5 | Ratveto | -0.14 | 60 | 63 |





