










System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 0 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.

| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 15 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show 6 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




0 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Your loyalty is impressive.
193 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 693 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 141 | 20% |
| Smokes | 151 | 22% |
| HE Grenades | 228 | 33% |
| Molotovs | 173 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $104,760 of utility $209 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 23 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ihatemylifeeee | 2 | 0.0200 |
| #2 | Defalt | 1 | 0.0027 |
| #3 | herzeleid | 1 | 0.0049 |
| #4 | Old Nick | 1 | 0.0068 |
| #5 | u get no bitches | 1 | 0.0278 |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | herzeleid | +7.16 | 81 | 76 |
| #2 | GlockSaint | +1.04 | 54 | 48 |
| #3 | Old Nick | +0.97 | 74 | 59 |
| #4 | Defalt | +0.10 | 50 | 44 |
| #5 | uwuBABI. | -0.49 | 54 | 28 |





