








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 51 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 7 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




1 of your human shaped victims was your teammate...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
234 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 411 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 77 | 19% |
| Smokes | 87 | 21% |
| HE Grenades | 114 | 28% |
| Molotovs | 133 | 32% |
Our logs show you have wasted $70,742 of utility $160 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 22 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Jesus | 75% | 4 |
| #2 | Pagarkalle | 75% | 4 |
| #3 | kapa | 75% | 4 |
| #4 | -AL- | 67% | 3 |
| #5 | wAwij- | 67% | 3 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | kapa | 29 | 0.33 | 1 min |
| #2 | Not Bot | 22 | 0.23 | 1 min |
| #3 | Freesies | 20 | 0.17 | 0 min |
| #4 | Pagarkalle | 16 | 0.17 | 0 min |
| #5 | Kr1zzler | 12 | 0.12 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 999-† dm for coaching 1 on 1 | +5.32 | 74 | 76 |
| #2 | wAwij- | +3.43 | 96 | 43 |
| #3 | Hanter | +2.20 | 85 | 30 |
| #4 | Freesies | +1.43 | 76 | 49 |
| #5 | Jesus | +1.32 | 92 | 74 |





