








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 37 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Vertigo | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 11 matches | ||
| Premier | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 11 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




8 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
798 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 1,509 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 344 | 23% |
| Smokes | 139 | 9% |
| HE Grenades | 416 | 28% |
| Molotovs | 610 | 40% |
Our logs show you have wasted $322,794 of utility $120 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 21 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Agr0 | 14 | 0.0083 |
| #2 | Steele. | 8 | 0.0049 |
| #3 | Stompy McLoudass | 7 | 0.0053 |
| #4 | Shrek | 6 | 0.0087 |
| #5 | Dr. Mantis Toboggan | 6 | 0.0090 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Steele. | 430 | 0.26 | 10 min |
| #2 | Agr0 | 214 | 0.13 | 4 min |
| #3 | Stompy McLoudass | 120 | 0.09 | 3 min |
| #4 | jekfra69 | 61 | 0.05 | 1 min |
| #5 | Shrek | 41 | 0.06 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Steele. | +3.76 | 64 | 68 |
| #2 | Agr0 | +2.25 | 48 | 57 |
| #3 | Shrek | +1.28 | 58 | 55 |
| #4 | Stompy McLoudass | +1.21 | 55 | 48 |
| #5 | Jawntista | -0.35 | 28 | 29 |





