








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 407 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 201 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 4 matches | ||
| Faceit | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 33 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




5 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2195 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 8,697 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1751 | 20% |
| Smokes | 2619 | 30% |
| HE Grenades | 2280 | 26% |
| Molotovs | 2047 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $809,130 of utility $144 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 122 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Dreik | 57% | 14 |
| #2 | Mak3 | 56% | 16 |
| #3 | FineOK? | 50% | 14 |
| #4 | Wendyy❤ | 49% | 154 |
| #5 | Zhube | 48% | 33 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | FineOK? | 50% | 14 |
| #4 | Wendyy❤ | 49% | 154 |
| #5 | Zhube | 48% | 33 |
| #6 | Dille- | 48% | 66 |
| #7 | Kurmis | 41% | 32 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Dille- | 5 | 0.0034 |
| #2 | Kurmis | 5 | 0.0072 |
| #3 | Zhube | 4 | 0.0059 |
| #4 | Wendyy❤ | 2 | 0.0006 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Wendyy❤ | 422 | 0.13 | 13 min |
| #2 | Kurmis | 121 | 0.17 | 2 min |
| #3 | Zhube | 87 | 0.13 | 3 min |
| #4 | Mak3 | 82 | 0.24 | 1 min |
| #5 | Dille- | 28 | 0.02 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | FineOK? | +5.20 | 90 | 51 |
| #2 | Dreik | +4.26 | 81 | 68 |
| #3 | Zhube | +3.30 | 94 | 61 |
| #4 | Kurmis | +1.62 | 75 | 46 |
| #5 | Dille- | +1.20 | 70 | 39 |





