








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 296 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 237 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 3 matches | ||
| Wingman | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 27 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




3 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2688 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 8,595 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2495 | 29% |
| Smokes | 2552 | 30% |
| HE Grenades | 2258 | 26% |
| Molotovs | 1290 | 15% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,460,529 of utility $198 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 170 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | SammyP™❄ | 54% | 26 |
| #5 | ♥ 26,6 cm snigel ™ | 52% | 21 |
| #6 | JoestJ | 47% | 70 |
| #7 | ✪ scubadiveR ™ | 44% | 59 |
| #8 | 🚬🌿✪StressedOut✪🌿🚬 | 41% | 76 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 🚬🌿✪StressedOut✪🌿🚬 | 3 | 0.0018 |
| #2 | JoestJ | 3 | 0.0020 |
| #3 | Stoned Mountain Unicorn | 2 | 0.0014 |
| #4 | ✪ scubadiveR ™ | 1 | 0.0008 |
| #5 | JelleH | 1 | 0.0011 |





