








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 582 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 265 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 49 matches | ||
| Faceit | 31 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 30 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 22 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 15 matches | ||
| Wingman | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Agency | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 15 different maps





Our logs show 18 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




47 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
6435 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 19,809 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 6480 | 33% |
| Smokes | 5834 | 29% |
| HE Grenades | 2747 | 14% |
| Molotovs | 4748 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,118,885 of utility $100 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 219 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | voip | 73% | 64 |
| #2 | Llama | 71% | 110 |
| #3 | beasley | 67% | 39 |
| #4 | D3X | 66% | 38 |
| #5 | Fawx ♥ | 66% | 32 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #11 | Stx | 60% | 82 |
| #12 | JuS | 54% | 54 |
| #13 | ava | 51% | 41 |
| #14 | boxxy | 49% | 37 |
| #15 | window | 38% | 40 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | MEGA ❤︎ methpuppy | 12 | 0.0018 |
| #2 | Llama | 9 | 0.0042 |
| #3 | JuS | 6 | 0.0056 |
| #4 | ava | 6 | 0.0072 |
| #5 | D3X | 4 | 0.0054 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | MEGA ❤︎ methpuppy | 690 | 0.11 | 16 min |
| #2 | Stx | 356 | 0.21 | 9 min |
| #3 | 9/11 footwerk | 265 | 0.10 | 8 min |
| #4 | Llama | 239 | 0.11 | 6 min |
| #5 | Yuri | 233 | 0.19 | 6 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | lilyblossom | +2.99 | 78 | 61 |
| #2 | beasley | +2.53 | 88 | 66 |
| #3 | Fawx ♥ | +1.98 | 92 | 62 |
| #4 | Stx | +1.81 | 87 | 64 |
| #5 | 9/11 footwerk | +1.49 | 69 | 46 |





