








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 76 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 101 matches | ||
| Wingman | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match | ||
| Faceit | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 17 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




27 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1438 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 9,342 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3185 | 34% |
| Smokes | 2827 | 30% |
| HE Grenades | 1695 | 18% |
| Molotovs | 1635 | 18% |
Our logs show you have wasted $179,025 of utility $51 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1621 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Bulbul | 60% | 15 |
| #2 | (っ◔◡◔)っ HezzuHoopo | 49% | 53 |
| #3 | 🧠ℌ𝔦𝔤𝔥𝔅🧠 | 44% | 9 |
| #4 | Pikkumyy | 39% | 18 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Bulbul | 60% | 15 |
| #2 | (っ◔◡◔)っ HezzuHoopo | 49% | 53 |
| #3 | 🧠ℌ𝔦𝔤𝔥𝔅🧠 | 44% | 9 |
| #4 | Pikkumyy | 39% | 18 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | (っ◔◡◔)っ HezzuHoopo | 9 | 0.0082 |
| #2 | Bulbul | 2 | 0.0064 |
| #3 | 🧠ℌ𝔦𝔤𝔥𝔅🧠 | 1 | 0.0054 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | (っ◔◡◔)っ HezzuHoopo | 101 | 0.09 | 2 min |
| #2 | Pikkumyy | 56 | 0.15 | 1 min |
| #3 | 🧠ℌ𝔦𝔤𝔥𝔅🧠 | 18 | 0.10 | 0 min |
| #4 | Bulbul | 17 | 0.05 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | SuSi | +3.11 | 66 | 64 |
| #2 | Bulbul | +0.99 | 69 | 53 |
| #3 | Pikkumyy | -0.94 | 62 | 59 |
| #4 | 🧠ℌ𝔦𝔤𝔥𝔅🧠 | -2.77 | 47 | 58 |
| #5 | (っ◔◡◔)っ HezzuHoopo | -2.88 | 41 | 45 |





