










System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 670 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September



The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 143 matches | ||
| Wingman | 55 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 3 matches | ||
| Faceit | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 18 different maps





Our logs show 16 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




29 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1944 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 4,661 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1475 | 32% |
| Smokes | 841 | 18% |
| HE Grenades | 1603 | 34% |
| Molotovs | 742 | 16% |
Our logs show you have wasted $541,757 of utility $97 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 0 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | Onlyfans - Speekzie | 40% | 30 |
| #6 | HaRizz | 34% | 38 |
| #7 | ¤¤TED¤¤ | 33% | 55 |
| #8 | LTK | 29% | 28 |
| #9 | Emil3672 | 26% | 19 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | I'm The Brutal Pony | 17 | 0.0119 |
| #2 | Onlyfans - Speekzie | 17 | 0.0302 |
| #3 | kirstine729 | 7 | 0.0058 |
| #4 | LTK | 7 | 0.0132 |
| #5 | Amodio | 3 | 0.0025 |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Onlyfans - Speekzie | +6.11 | 60 | 38 |
| #2 | LTK | +4.08 | 57 | 48 |
| #3 | Amodio | +0.51 | 47 | 36 |
| #4 | I'm The Brutal Pony | -1.31 | 29 | 47 |
| #5 | Bilbo Von Subwof | -1.41 | 20 | 44 |





