








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 206 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 121 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 24 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 13 matches | ||
| Faceit | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 16 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




19 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3432 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 11,540 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3728 | 32% |
| Smokes | 3608 | 31% |
| HE Grenades | 1889 | 16% |
| Molotovs | 2315 | 20% |
Our logs show you have wasted $787,854 of utility $126 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 447 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Chipotle Honey | 11 | 0.0033 |
| #2 | kyalko | 4 | 0.0011 |
| #3 | Shy Guy | 2 | 0.0010 |
| #4 | Maurice | 2 | 0.0026 |
| #5 | hey peter | 1 | 0.0005 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Chipotle Honey | 363 | 0.11 | 10 min |
| #2 | kyalko | 271 | 0.07 | 7 min |
| #3 | hey peter | 71 | 0.04 | 2 min |
| #4 | Maurice | 64 | 0.08 | 1 min |
| #5 | Shy Guy | 53 | 0.03 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | bandwidth | +2.57 | 66 | 70 |
| #2 | Chipotle Honey | +0.31 | 68 | 64 |
| #3 | Shy Guy | -0.28 | 61 | 20 |
| #4 | Maurice | -0.91 | 58 | 57 |
| #5 | kyalko | -1.51 | 47 | 57 |





