








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 237 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 90 matches | ||
| Premier | 53 matches | ||
| Wingman | 48 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 15 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




5 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2043 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 10,464 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2223 | 21% |
| Smokes | 2536 | 24% |
| HE Grenades | 2943 | 28% |
| Molotovs | 2762 | 26% |
Our logs show you have wasted $408,424 of utility $79 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 22 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | FlemLion | 59% | 82 |
| #2 | bp_hat | 48% | 56 |
| #3 | Kojima (Post Covid Edition) | 47% | 19 |
| #4 | lexrr | 40% | 15 |
| #5 | .karboN | 39% | 18 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | lexrr | 40% | 15 |
| #5 | .karboN | 39% | 18 |
| #6 | scqasch | 37% | 49 |
| #7 | never nich | 32% | 34 |
| #8 | hugmungu | 26% | 38 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | never nich | 2 | 0.0027 |
| #2 | Kojima (Post Covid Edition) | 1 | 0.0023 |
| #3 | .karboN | 1 | 0.0024 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | bp_hat | 171 | 0.14 | 5 min |
| #2 | never nich | 98 | 0.13 | 2 min |
| #3 | FlemLion | 60 | 0.04 | 1 min |
| #4 | scqasch | 59 | 0.06 | 1 min |
| #5 | .karboN | 54 | 0.13 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | bp_hat | +4.24 | 82 | 72 |
| #2 | scqasch | +1.23 | 58 | 56 |
| #3 | FlemLion | +1.04 | 64 | 61 |
| #4 | plexor. | +0.26 | 58 | 62 |
| #5 | .karboN | +0.17 | 81 | 64 |





