








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 756 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September


The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 268 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 226 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 124 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 88 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 76 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 64 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 60 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 54 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 47 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 35 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 34 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Palacio | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 17 different maps





Our logs show 96 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




117 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
5684 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 37,656 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 10799 | 29% |
| Smokes | 9840 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 11178 | 30% |
| Molotovs | 5839 | 16% |
Our logs show you have wasted $679,884 of utility $28 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1143 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Leboknees | 1967 | 0.25 | 38 min |
| #2 | TheEggGirl | 1557 | 0.19 | 33 min |
| #3 | Donny The Dealer | 1206 | 0.20 | 28 min |
| #4 | ZOOOOOOOM | 577 | 0.21 | 15 min |
| #5 | Osprey | 411 | 0.07 | 10 min |





