








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 598 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 290 matches | ||
| Premier | 153 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 61 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




10 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4630 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 21,817 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 5198 | 24% |
| Smokes | 6045 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 5460 | 25% |
| Molotovs | 5114 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,591,154 of utility $141 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 44 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Number 240 | 55% | 141 |
| #2 | CrazyMan | 54% | 103 |
| #3 | Danksy | 50% | 26 |
| #4 | L4ma | 47% | 64 |
| #5 | Eulogy | 47% | 43 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Number 240 | 55% | 141 |
| #2 | CrazyMan | 54% | 103 |
| #3 | Danksy | 50% | 26 |
| #4 | L4ma | 47% | 64 |
| #5 | Eulogy | 47% | 43 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Eulogy | 6 | 0.0065 |
| #2 | CrazyMan | 5 | 0.0022 |
| #3 | L4ma | 2 | 0.0015 |
| #4 | Number 240 | 1 | 0.0003 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | CrazyMan | 517 | 0.22 | 12 min |
| #2 | Number 240 | 306 | 0.10 | 9 min |
| #3 | L4ma | 241 | 0.18 | 8 min |
| #4 | Eulogy | 89 | 0.10 | 2 min |
| #5 | Danksy | 68 | 0.13 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | L4ma | +1.26 | 56 | 79 |
| #2 | Danksy | +0.70 | 64 | 71 |
| #3 | CrazyMan | +0.65 | 45 | 70 |
| #4 | Eulogy | +0.46 | 54 | 69 |
| #5 | buntaga | +0.32 | 52 | 65 |





