








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 6 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Vertigo | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 4 matches | ||
| Faceit | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Wingman | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




4 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
211 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 1,042 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 421 | 40% |
| Smokes | 234 | 22% |
| HE Grenades | 179 | 17% |
| Molotovs | 208 | 20% |
Our logs show you have wasted $54,671 of utility $99 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 5 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Turbo | 60% | 10 |
| #2 | Feels Soup Man | 59% | 17 |
| #3 | Mim1c | 59% | 17 |
| #4 | Wafl | 57% | 23 |
| #5 | Brinkidiniki | 53% | 17 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Turbo | 5 | 0.0262 |
| #2 | Brinkidiniki | 4 | 0.0145 |
| #3 | Wafl | 3 | 0.0062 |
| #4 | Feels Soup Man | 3 | 0.0098 |
| #5 | DankLord84 | 1 | 0.0043 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Wafl | 76 | 0.16 | 2 min |
| #2 | DankLord84 | 71 | 0.30 | 2 min |
| #3 | Mim1c | 65 | 0.26 | 2 min |
| #4 | Turbo | 38 | 0.20 | 2 min |
| #5 | Feels Soup Man | 29 | 0.10 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Mim1c | +6.57 | 90 | 73 |
| #2 | Turbo | +1.81 | 59 | 74 |
| #3 | DankLord84 | +1.81 | 70 | 76 |
| #4 | Brinkidiniki | +0.67 | 74 | 47 |
| #5 | niarb tunaep | -0.20 | 42 | 60 |





