








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 18 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Inferno | 47 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 44 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 28 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 25 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 22 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 8 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




5 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
862 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 889 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 289 | 33% |
| Smokes | 178 | 20% |
| HE Grenades | 289 | 33% |
| Molotovs | 133 | 15% |
Our logs show you have wasted $119,290 of utility $24 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 192 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ♥︎Bastet's #1 Fanboy | 24 | 0.0123 |
| #2 | JadeXO | 11 | 0.0037 |
| #3 | yawndere | 5 | 0.0057 |
| #4 | FRIENDSHIP | 2 | 0.0025 |
| #5 | Goon Goblin | asio.gov.au | 2 | 0.0063 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ♥︎Bastet's #1 Fanboy | 510 | 0.26 | 10 min |
| #2 | JadeXO | 281 | 0.09 | 7 min |
| #3 | Pluto | 77 | 0.13 | 2 min |
| #4 | FRIENDSHIP | 70 | 0.09 | 2 min |
| #5 | Hidomeman | 52 | 0.11 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | yawndere | +6.75 | 92 | 32 |
| #2 | ♥︎Bastet's #1 Fanboy | +6.39 | 72 | 51 |
| #3 | Caboose | +3.98 | 24 | 53 |
| #4 | JinouGa | +3.86 | 46 | 23 |
| #5 | JadeXO | +2.50 | 61 | 54 |





