








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 112 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 187 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 43 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 53 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




9 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2253 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 8,024 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 625 | 8% |
| Smokes | 2794 | 35% |
| HE Grenades | 1754 | 22% |
| Molotovs | 2851 | 36% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,223,017 of utility $170 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 121 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | voll | 48% | 29 |
| #5 | ➊Sunken | 47% | 190 |
| #6 | Danny Phantom | 46% | 80 |
| #7 | Cups | 46% | 137 |
| #8 | Sloth | 44% | 36 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Schnied | 7 | 0.0056 |
| #2 | ➊Sunken | 6 | 0.0015 |
| #3 | Danny Phantom | 5 | 0.0031 |
| #4 | BrownAye™ | 5 | 0.0034 |
| #5 | Cups | 2 | 0.0007 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Cups | 293 | 0.10 | 7 min |
| #2 | ➊Sunken | 140 | 0.04 | 3 min |
| #3 | Schnied | 125 | 0.10 | 4 min |
| #4 | BrownAye™ | 100 | 0.07 | 2 min |
| #5 | Sloth | 93 | 0.13 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | BrownAye™ | +2.27 | 69 | 58 |
| #2 | Schnied | +1.65 | 44 | 63 |
| #3 | [NcSgo]Fr3Br3Z | +0.67 | 45 | 39 |
| #4 | voll | +0.62 | 48 | 32 |
| #5 | ➊Sunken | -0.36 | 48 | 47 |





