








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 2 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 127 matches | ||
| Faceit | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




9 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1368 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 9,276 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3170 | 34% |
| Smokes | 2323 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 2353 | 25% |
| Molotovs | 1430 | 15% |
Our logs show you have wasted $223,491 of utility $58 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 2 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | carlosp10 | 82% | 11 |
| #2 | ClutchKick_88 | 62% | 45 |
| #3 | ΚiΚ_KΡ³ΙiyΡ³ | 58% | 26 |
| #4 | BKSQD. saJo | 56% | 27 |
| #5 | B.Rabbit | 49% | 83 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | rokat[A :> | 675 | 0.32 | 20 min |
| #2 | B.Rabbit | 108 | 0.06 | 3 min |
| #3 | BKSQD.S1CKSADS2MONSTA' | 105 | 0.22 | 2 min |
| #4 | BKSQD. rayiZ | 90 | 0.14 | 2 min |
| #5 | BKSQD. saJo | 66 | 0.11 | 1 min |





