








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 261 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 79 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 23 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 3 matches | ||
| Faceit | 3 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 19 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




16 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2005 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 6,660 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1436 | 22% |
| Smokes | 2061 | 31% |
| HE Grenades | 2190 | 33% |
| Molotovs | 973 | 15% |
Our logs show you have wasted $570,543 of utility $138 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 107 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Hanso 2 | 71% | 14 |
| #2 | gO_ose | 71% | 66 |
| #3 | ALEBABA | 69% | 42 |
| #4 | JesusPwnsYa | 66% | 47 |
| #5 | Hanso | 66% | 131 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | JesusPwnsYa | 66% | 47 |
| #5 | Hanso | 66% | 131 |
| #6 | ProfessorDrKinese | 64% | 28 |
| #7 | ~Flame-On~ | 60% | 92 |
| #8 | [sepp-gaming] | 56% | 18 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | gO_ose | 8 | 0.0060 |
| #2 | ProfessorDrKinese | 6 | 0.0102 |
| #3 | Hanso | 5 | 0.0019 |
| #4 | ~Flame-On~ | 5 | 0.0027 |
| #5 | JesusPwnsYa | 1 | 0.0010 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Hanso | 226 | 0.08 | 5 min |
| #2 | gO_ose | 80 | 0.06 | 2 min |
| #3 | ~Flame-On~ | 75 | 0.04 | 2 min |
| #4 | ProfessorDrKinese | 51 | 0.09 | 1 min |
| #5 | ALEBABA | 50 | 0.06 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Hanso 2 | +3.68 | 82 | 51 |
| #2 | ProfessorDrKinese | +2.93 | 82 | 71 |
| #3 | TaiiKo | +2.73 | 76 | 68 |
| #4 | ~Flame-On~ | +2.08 | 90 | 44 |
| #5 | Hanso | +1.37 | 72 | 60 |





