








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 24 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 41 matches | ||
| Faceit | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show 7 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




2 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
919 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 2,873 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 712 | 25% |
| Smokes | 676 | 24% |
| HE Grenades | 671 | 23% |
| Molotovs | 814 | 28% |
Our logs show you have wasted $286,062 of utility $152 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 185 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | BURNRUOk <TurtleBeach> | 100% | 5 |
| #2 | meo | 91% | 11 |
| #3 | deoxiDE | 85% | 13 |
| #4 | Nerox[f] | 83% | 6 |
| #5 | gunnlock[f] | 81% | 16 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #10 | wool | 67% | 6 |
| #11 | slipary | 67% | 6 |
| #12 | blu | 57% | 7 |
| #13 | Fab | 57% | 7 |
| #14 | caffe | 40% | 5 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | dizzylife | 1 | 0.0008 |
| #2 | sekret[f] | 1 | 0.0013 |
| #3 | gunnlock[f] | 1 | 0.0027 |
| #4 | ✪ Tiddler | 1 | 0.0046 |
| #5 | meo | 1 | 0.0047 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | sekret[f] | 202 | 0.26 | 5 min |
| #2 | dizzylife | 177 | 0.13 | 6 min |
| #3 | gunnlock[f] | 65 | 0.18 | 2 min |
| #4 | wool | 48 | 0.36 | 1 min |
| #5 | meo | 41 | 0.19 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | meo | +3.54 | 94 | 61 |
| #2 | Nerox[f] | +2.69 | 75 | 63 |
| #3 | ✪ Tiddler | +2.61 | 86 | 77 |
| #4 | BURNRUOk <TurtleBeach> | +2.48 | 96 | 59 |
| #5 | sekret[f] | +1.75 | 81 | 75 |





