








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 143 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 103 matches | ||
| Wingman | 85 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 31 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 28 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 20 different maps





Our logs show 6 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




8 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2335 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 6,402 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2358 | 37% |
| Smokes | 1824 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 1598 | 25% |
| Molotovs | 622 | 10% |
Our logs show you have wasted $544,105 of utility $77 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 122 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #6 | Carson | 45% | 125 |
| #7 | Cyfurix | 44% | 85 |
| #8 | lubes | 43% | 21 |
| #9 | Brendan | 41% | 85 |
| #10 | ♥Z.Z. Zippenzoop♥ | 40% | 40 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Jarvid 9: Gecko | 1044 | 0.39 | 30 min |
| #2 | Carson | 207 | 0.08 | 5 min |
| #3 | Cyfurix | 192 | 0.11 | 5 min |
| #4 | NotCameron | 186 | 0.06 | 5 min |
| #5 | Brendan | 118 | 0.07 | 3 min |





