








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 164 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 69 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 51 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 35 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 27 matches | ||
| Faceit | 25 matches | ||
| Wingman | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 18 different maps





Our logs show 7 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




13 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4327 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 5,484 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1853 | 34% |
| Smokes | 1317 | 24% |
| HE Grenades | 1334 | 24% |
| Molotovs | 980 | 18% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,489,816 of utility $221 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 78 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Felix | 76% | 21 |
| #2 | 《《 QUaCKie 》》 | 67% | 49 |
| #3 | Bearsboys | 67% | 21 |
| #4 | GARY | 65% | 34 |
| #5 | Life Moves | 65% | 48 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #12 | ♥Z.Z. Zippenzoop♥ | 45% | 69 |
| #13 | Trey | 45% | 125 |
| #14 | NotCameron | 44% | 54 |
| #15 | Brendan | 44% | 50 |
| #16 | Jarvid 9: Gecko | 43% | 83 |





