










System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 602 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 401 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 66 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 60 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 43 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 42 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 39 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 37 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 33 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 29 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 24 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 14 matches | ||
| Wingman | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 17 different maps





Our logs show 83 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




29 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
8385 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 22,086 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3433 | 16% |
| Smokes | 5171 | 23% |
| HE Grenades | 6266 | 28% |
| Molotovs | 7216 | 33% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,934,290 of utility $109 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 126 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #13 | GhostViktor | 46% | 81 |
| #14 | Lotte | 45% | 139 |
| #15 | Ping | 43% | 44 |
| #16 | it's is my life - jon bovi | 42% | 53 |
| #17 | vongallo | 39% | 92 |





