










System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 56 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Dust2 | 5 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 4 different maps




Our logs show 2 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




0 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Your loyalty is impressive.
59 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 57 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 26 | 46% |
| Smokes | 17 | 30% |
| HE Grenades | 7 | 12% |
| Molotovs | 7 | 12% |
Our logs show you have wasted $20,550 of utility $76 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1 message into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | LouisEX | 45% | 11 |
| #2 | fnug | 44% | 9 |
| #3 | [Biglumpofcherries™] | 42% | 12 |
| #4 | MichaelOVRPWRD | 38% | 8 |
| #5 | Eclips3 | 33% | 3 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | fnug | 44% | 9 |
| #3 | [Biglumpofcherries™] | 42% | 12 |
| #4 | MichaelOVRPWRD | 38% | 8 |
| #5 | Eclips3 | 33% | 3 |
| #6 | Rain3r^^ | 25% | 8 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | [Biglumpofcherries™] | 11 | 0.0444 |
| #2 | LouisEX | 3 | 0.0133 |
| #3 | fnug | 2 | 0.0108 |
| #4 | MichaelOVRPWRD | 2 | 0.0117 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Rain3r^^ | 63 | 0.39 | 2 min |
| #2 | [Biglumpofcherries™] | 55 | 0.22 | 1 min |
| #3 | fnug | 38 | 0.20 | 1 min |
| #4 | LouisEX | 25 | 0.11 | 1 min |
| #5 | Eclips3 | 15 | 0.24 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Rain3r^^ | +6.72 | 59 | 61 |
| #2 | fnug | +3.02 | 44 | 64 |
| #3 | LouisEX | +0.16 | 25 | 64 |
| #4 | MichaelOVRPWRD | -0.97 | 39 | 48 |
| #5 | [Biglumpofcherries™] | -3.60 | 3 | 72 |





