










System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 17 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Train | 34 matches | ||
| Premier | 28 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 28 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 27 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 24 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 16 matches | ||
| Wingman | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 5 matches | ||
| Faceit | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 12 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




1 of your human shaped victims was your teammate...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1703 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 4,334 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1083 | 25% |
| Smokes | 532 | 12% |
| HE Grenades | 1120 | 26% |
| Molotovs | 1599 | 37% |
Our logs show you have wasted $794,923 of utility $177 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 34 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | dDeeVo | 67% | 12 |
| #2 | Vex | 65% | 23 |
| #3 | Nick Gurh | 65% | 17 |
| #4 | retired bum | 62% | 21 |
| #5 | nich | 58% | 12 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | nich | 58% | 12 |
| #6 | Slatt Ryan | 58% | 19 |
| #7 | gang | 57% | 37 |
| #8 | Cornflakes | 49% | 57 |
| #9 | Creep Mud | 45% | 38 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | retired bum | 3 | 0.0085 |
| #2 | Creep Mud | 2 | 0.0026 |
| #3 | gang | 2 | 0.0029 |
| #4 | Nick Gurh | 2 | 0.0063 |
| #5 | dDeeVo | 2 | 0.0085 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Cornflakes | 209 | 0.19 | 5 min |
| #2 | Creep Mud | 143 | 0.19 | 4 min |
| #3 | Slatt Ryan | 77 | 0.19 | 1 min |
| #4 | dDeeVo | 49 | 0.21 | 1 min |
| #5 | retired bum | 30 | 0.08 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | retired bum | +7.41 | 87 | 67 |
| #2 | nich | +6.82 | 75 | 75 |
| #3 | dDeeVo | +3.69 | 87 | 86 |
| #4 | Creep Mud | +0.44 | 65 | 55 |
| #5 | AirBagsHurtBTW | -0.17 | 50 | 53 |





