








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 75 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 3 matches | ||
| Wingman | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




1 of your human shaped victims was your teammate...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
437 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 1,089 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 375 | 34% |
| Smokes | 334 | 31% |
| HE Grenades | 182 | 17% |
| Molotovs | 198 | 18% |
Our logs show you have wasted $74,874 of utility $106 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 30 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #7 | JT | 71% | 21 |
| #8 | N!X | 57% | 7 |
| #9 | Grim シ | 40% | 5 |
| #10 | cxzi | 36% | 11 |
| #11 | Bibu | 33% | 3 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | KiNN | 1 | 0.0286 |
| #2 | Kvem | 1 | 0.0294 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | JT | 100 | 0.26 | 3 min |
| #2 | cxzi | 51 | 0.23 | 2 min |
| #3 | Smil og vær glad | 24 | 0.69 | 1 min |
| #4 | Grim シ | 20 | 0.21 | 0 min |
| #5 | N!X | 17 | 0.13 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Kvem | +5.38 | 38 | 62 |
| #2 | KiNN | +4.48 | 86 | 22 |
| #3 | HiPpOteRMinAtOr^_¨ | +4.03 | 97 | 66 |
| #4 | JT | +2.95 | 90 | 75 |
| #5 | Smil og vær glad | +1.27 | 73 | 72 |





