








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 116 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 115 matches | ||
| Premier | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 2 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




3 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1099 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 3,584 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 663 | 18% |
| Smokes | 1299 | 36% |
| HE Grenades | 638 | 18% |
| Molotovs | 984 | 27% |
Our logs show you have wasted $451,915 of utility $156 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 41 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 👑Saenz👑 | 80% | 10 |
| #2 | Mr Misterio ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ | 73% | 26 |
| #3 | ☛CrisS☚ | 64% | 11 |
| #4 | Pancho_Villa | 64% | 11 |
| #5 | Krizzao | 63% | 19 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Alaric Dell ☬ | 2 | 0.0019 |
| #2 | hfxits☬ | 2 | 0.0030 |
| #3 | Mr Misterio ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ | 1 | 0.0019 |
| #4 | ☬ TRY-HARD ☬--> | 1 | 0.0048 |
| #5 | 👑Saenz👑 | 1 | 0.0050 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Alaric Dell ☬ | 202 | 0.19 | 5 min |
| #2 | Zetuw0w! <3 | 173 | 0.24 | 4 min |
| #3 | Mr Misterio ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ | 136 | 0.26 | 4 min |
| #4 | ImXavi ☬ | 133 | 0.16 | 2 min |
| #5 | Krizzao | 131 | 0.31 | 4 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Mr Misterio ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ | +2.66 | 74 | 77 |
| #2 | ☛CrisS☚ | +2.15 | 81 | 62 |
| #3 | Alaric Dell ☬ | +1.42 | 63 | 83 |
| #4 | ImXavi ☬ | +1.41 | 69 | 67 |
| #5 | .Gioo | +0.99 | 62 | 71 |





