








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 211 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 151 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 60 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 59 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 47 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 46 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 41 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 36 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




15 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2294 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 10,940 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1833 | 17% |
| Smokes | 3884 | 36% |
| HE Grenades | 1299 | 12% |
| Molotovs | 3924 | 36% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,655,353 of utility $159 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 33 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | MaMaRoNi | 13 | 0.0014 |
| #2 | viv | 11 | 0.0023 |
| #3 | RB MissPennywiese | 5 | 0.0018 |
| #4 | vivalativa | 5 | 0.0025 |
| #5 | [F]lawless | 5 | 0.0074 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | MaMaRoNi | 605 | 0.07 | 18 min |
| #2 | RB MissPennywiese | 216 | 0.08 | 5 min |
| #3 | viv | 175 | 0.04 | 4 min |
| #4 | sjeesh XD | 145 | 0.18 | 3 min |
| #5 | Aquarellah | 134 | 0.09 | 3 min |





