








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 321 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 145 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 53 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 51 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 40 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 40 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 33 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 43 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




13 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3301 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 15,133 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3412 | 23% |
| Smokes | 4676 | 31% |
| HE Grenades | 2581 | 17% |
| Molotovs | 4464 | 29% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,768,720 of utility $193 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 41 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Wizzle | 13 | 0.0014 |
| #2 | viv | 10 | 0.0022 |
| #3 | RB MissPennywiese | 5 | 0.0018 |
| #4 | vivalativa | 5 | 0.0028 |
| #5 | Spider | 3 | 0.0015 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Wizzle | 302 | 0.03 | 7 min |
| #2 | RB MissPennywiese | 216 | 0.08 | 5 min |
| #3 | viv | 171 | 0.04 | 4 min |
| #4 | sjeesh XD | 121 | 0.17 | 3 min |
| #5 | Aquarellah | 105 | 0.10 | 2 min |





