








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 72 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 62 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 32 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 22 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 9 matches | ||
| Faceit | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 5 matches | ||
| Wingman | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 17 different maps





Our logs show 12 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




52 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1585 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 2,672 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 609 | 23% |
| Smokes | 814 | 30% |
| HE Grenades | 815 | 31% |
| Molotovs | 434 | 16% |
Our logs show you have wasted $665,097 of utility $140 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1406 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Zeno | 64% | 28 |
| #2 | Ahameii | 58% | 33 |
| #3 | SoMa | 51% | 134 |
| #4 | gyrex | 50% | 28 |
| #5 | Spefix | 47% | 200 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Spefix | 818 | 0.20 | 14 min |
| #2 | SoMa | 694 | 0.25 | 17 min |
| #3 | Ello | 84 | 0.11 | 1 min |
| #4 | gyrex | 68 | 0.11 | 2 min |
| #5 | Zeno | 63 | 0.11 | 1 min |





