








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1278 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 363 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 24 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 8 matches | ||
| Wingman | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 15 different maps





Our logs show 87 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




27 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3433 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 12,729 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1957 | 15% |
| Smokes | 4562 | 36% |
| HE Grenades | 3907 | 31% |
| Molotovs | 2303 | 18% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,417,675 of utility $220 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 282 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | AKZU95 | 21 | 0.0039 |
| #2 | Roosaakarose | 11 | 0.0021 |
| #3 | Jellers | 5 | 0.0013 |
| #4 | KenraaliAnkka | 4 | 0.0010 |
| #5 | GARYMODE6K | 3 | 0.0051 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Jellers | 337 | 0.09 | 8 min |
| #2 | Roosaakarose | 280 | 0.05 | 7 min |
| #3 | KenraaliAnkka | 145 | 0.04 | 3 min |
| #4 | AKZU95 | 109 | 0.02 | 2 min |
| #5 | Henkka | 98 | 0.12 | 2 min |





