








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 129 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 214 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 26 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




10 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2018 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 7,298 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2339 | 32% |
| Smokes | 1844 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 2255 | 31% |
| Molotovs | 860 | 12% |
Our logs show you have wasted $768,393 of utility $143 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 69 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | J/R\C | 52% | 94 |
| #2 | ciaobubu | 48% | 197 |
| #3 | [AKA] Ajax Is Lemons | 47% | 17 |
| #4 | D0cta | 42% | 67 |
| #5 | Napalm Enthusiast | 38% | 13 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | J/R\C | 52% | 94 |
| #2 | ciaobubu | 48% | 197 |
| #3 | [AKA] Ajax Is Lemons | 47% | 17 |
| #4 | D0cta | 42% | 67 |
| #5 | Napalm Enthusiast | 38% | 13 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ciaobubu | 12 | 0.0028 |
| #2 | D0cta | 4 | 0.0027 |
| #3 | J/R\C | 1 | 0.0005 |
| #4 | Napalm Enthusiast | 1 | 0.0033 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ciaobubu | 518 | 0.12 | 12 min |
| #2 | J/R\C | 359 | 0.18 | 8 min |
| #3 | D0cta | 150 | 0.10 | 4 min |
| #4 | Napalm Enthusiast | 37 | 0.12 | 1 min |
| #5 | [AKA] Ajax Is Lemons | 35 | 0.10 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Napalm Enthusiast | +2.50 | 77 | 62 |
| #2 | D0cta | +1.85 | 86 | 60 |
| #3 | [AKA] Ajax Is Lemons | -0.08 | 64 | 61 |
| #4 | ciaobubu | -0.24 | 72 | 59 |
| #5 | J/R\C | -0.93 | 52 | 67 |





