








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 113 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 211 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 37 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




17 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2182 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 8,276 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1760 | 21% |
| Smokes | 2330 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 1811 | 22% |
| Molotovs | 2375 | 29% |
Our logs show you have wasted $898,171 of utility $160 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 83 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Napalm Enthusiast | 56% | 16 |
| #2 | J/R\C | 54% | 67 |
| #3 | D0cta | 48% | 99 |
| #4 | [AKA] Ajax Is Lemons | 48% | 29 |
| #5 | ♥Phil5588♥ | 48% | 197 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Napalm Enthusiast | 56% | 16 |
| #2 | J/R\C | 54% | 67 |
| #3 | D0cta | 48% | 99 |
| #4 | [AKA] Ajax Is Lemons | 48% | 29 |
| #5 | ♥Phil5588♥ | 48% | 197 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ♥Phil5588♥ | 9 | 0.0021 |
| #2 | D0cta | 6 | 0.0028 |
| #3 | J/R\C | 2 | 0.0014 |
| #4 | Napalm Enthusiast | 1 | 0.0027 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ♥Phil5588♥ | 440 | 0.10 | 11 min |
| #2 | J/R\C | 226 | 0.15 | 5 min |
| #3 | D0cta | 209 | 0.10 | 5 min |
| #4 | [AKA] Ajax Is Lemons | 71 | 0.11 | 2 min |
| #5 | Napalm Enthusiast | 52 | 0.14 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Napalm Enthusiast | +3.48 | 79 | 59 |
| #2 | D0cta | +2.07 | 86 | 62 |
| #3 | ciaobubu | -0.29 | 73 | 58 |
| #4 | [AKA] Ajax Is Lemons | -0.48 | 73 | 61 |
| #5 | J/R\C | -0.65 | 56 | 69 |





