








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 374 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September



The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 146 matches | ||
| Faceit | 92 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 36 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 29 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches | ||
| Wingman | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Jura | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 15 different maps





Our logs show 31 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




33 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3871 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 20,689 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 5968 | 29% |
| Smokes | 5695 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 4161 | 20% |
| Molotovs | 4865 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $950,034 of utility $107 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1136 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Billias | 76% | 33 |
| #2 | w@r <WAR> | 71% | 52 |
| #3 | runchie | 67% | 104 |
| #4 | spud | 67% | 42 |
| #5 | 5'5 270 | 67% | 45 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #17 | bubbled guts | 43% | 35 |
| #18 | I'm Really On Some Other Shit | 38% | 55 |
| #19 | i lizard king | 37% | 35 |
| #20 | moke | 36% | 22 |
| #21 | Glover | 32% | 25 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | bubbled guts | 5 | 0.0072 |
| #2 | ✪ Professor Drip | 4 | 0.0063 |
| #3 | Dra'nakyuek | 3 | 0.0023 |
| #4 | Prodigy | 2 | 0.0011 |
| #5 | i lizard king | 2 | 0.0029 |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | runchie | +4.60 | 86 | 71 |
| #2 | spud | +4.03 | 87 | 70 |
| #3 | kelp | +2.54 | 86 | 50 |
| #4 | Billias | +1.23 | 63 | 79 |
| #5 | Dra'nakyuek | +1.09 | 73 | 61 |





