










System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 397 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 132 matches | ||
| Faceit | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show 26 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




8 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1812 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 6,352 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1509 | 24% |
| Smokes | 1500 | 24% |
| HE Grenades | 1680 | 26% |
| Molotovs | 1663 | 26% |
Our logs show you have wasted $891,601 of utility $200 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 38 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | JAG | 69% | 13 |
| #2 | Knut Destroyer | 55% | 11 |
| #3 | Thun | 52% | 84 |
| #4 | Lind | 51% | 114 |
| #5 | AGONOR | 49% | 35 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #6 | eirik | 47% | 118 |
| #7 | artix | 47% | 19 |
| #8 | .^.' | 47% | 15 |
| #9 | Loinn | 43% | 75 |
| #10 | fictive | 42% | 45 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Lind | 7 | 0.0028 |
| #2 | eirik | 4 | 0.0016 |
| #3 | AGONOR | 3 | 0.0041 |
| #4 | Thun | 1 | 0.0006 |
| #5 | Loinn | 1 | 0.0006 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Lind | 562 | 0.23 | 18 min |
| #2 | eirik | 518 | 0.20 | 16 min |
| #3 | Thun | 326 | 0.18 | 12 min |
| #4 | Loinn | 194 | 0.12 | 6 min |
| #5 | AGONOR | 123 | 0.17 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Knut Destroyer | +4.56 | 76 | 71 |
| #2 | .^.' | +2.52 | 88 | 65 |
| #3 | eirik | +1.86 | 48 | 78 |
| #4 | Thun | +0.27 | 61 | 74 |
| #5 | Lind | -0.24 | 72 | 72 |





