








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 133 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Mirage | 57 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 25 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 15 matches | ||
| Faceit | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 3 matches | ||
| Premier | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 15 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




19 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2689 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 8,281 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3062 | 37% |
| Smokes | 2078 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 1599 | 19% |
| Molotovs | 1542 | 19% |
Our logs show you have wasted $367,274 of utility $88 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 14 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | CalCtuG | 63% | 16 |
| #2 | VIRGIN BOY | 57% | 98 |
| #3 | jimmy dean | 54% | 105 |
| #4 | mars | 51% | 57 |
| #5 | Uncle Junior | 47% | 102 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | Uncle Junior | 47% | 102 |
| #6 | dog | 47% | 130 |
| #7 | Roller | 46% | 70 |
| #8 | Dough Gettah | 43% | 81 |
| #9 | supersavin | 38% | 29 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | VIRGIN BOY | 53 | 0.0275 |
| #2 | jimmy dean | 17 | 0.0083 |
| #3 | dog | 14 | 0.0054 |
| #4 | mars | 12 | 0.0107 |
| #5 | Dough Gettah | 7 | 0.0044 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | VIRGIN BOY | 582 | 0.30 | 15 min |
| #2 | jimmy dean | 312 | 0.15 | 7 min |
| #3 | dog | 277 | 0.11 | 6 min |
| #4 | Uncle Junior | 246 | 0.12 | 6 min |
| #5 | Dough Gettah | 125 | 0.08 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Gamigng | +4.52 | 84 | 75 |
| #2 | VIRGIN BOY | +3.42 | 91 | 60 |
| #3 | jimmy dean | +1.42 | 63 | 56 |
| #4 | mars | +0.44 | 54 | 55 |
| #5 | dog | -0.78 | 62 | 51 |





