








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 67 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Mirage | 24 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 2 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




9 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
424 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 1,550 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 235 | 15% |
| Smokes | 507 | 33% |
| HE Grenades | 444 | 29% |
| Molotovs | 364 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $112,779 of utility $73 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 26 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | VIRGIN BOY | 74% | 19 |
| #2 | jimmy dean | 56% | 34 |
| #3 | Gamigng | 46% | 70 |
| #4 | dog | 43% | 58 |
| #5 | mars | 42% | 24 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | dog | 43% | 58 |
| #5 | mars | 42% | 24 |
| #6 | Dough Gettah | 37% | 27 |
| #7 | Uncle Junior | 31% | 35 |
| #8 | supersavin | 31% | 13 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | VIRGIN BOY | 12 | 0.0330 |
| #2 | mars | 10 | 0.0212 |
| #3 | dog | 9 | 0.0076 |
| #4 | jimmy dean | 8 | 0.0119 |
| #5 | Gamigng | 5 | 0.0035 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Gamigng | 517 | 0.36 | 15 min |
| #2 | VIRGIN BOY | 120 | 0.33 | 3 min |
| #3 | dog | 116 | 0.10 | 2 min |
| #4 | jimmy dean | 102 | 0.15 | 2 min |
| #5 | Uncle Junior | 93 | 0.13 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | VIRGIN BOY | +5.15 | 89 | 55 |
| #2 | Gamigng | +5.12 | 83 | 77 |
| #3 | jimmy dean | +2.14 | 61 | 50 |
| #4 | mars | -0.03 | 55 | 54 |
| #5 | dog | -1.25 | 64 | 50 |





